SuperUNnatural
by Eggroll91
Summary: Sam and Dean have a stalker that is also a ghost! And she has decided to join the two sexy brothers on there adventures, much to their annoyance. How will they get rid of her? Crack fic with an OOC Sam. Written for a friend.


Once upon a time, there were two ultra, super-hawt brothers that fought the forces of evil. They battled things like demons, ghosts, and Martha Stewart. Like most sexy heroes, they have a very tragic past. Their mommy was killed by Martha, er…a demon, and their daddy went to go find it, but he died too. The names of our sex-gods are Sam and Dean. Sam was the younger, sweeter brother, while Dean was the tough, kick-ass older brother.

One day our smexy heroes were out looking for one of the worst monsters ever known to man. They had heard rumors about it being spotted in a nearby town and decided to help the people there. Their searches eventually lead them to a dark, musty cave on the outskirts of the town. The two boys entered cautiously, knowing that the monster had to be hidden somewhere in the darkness the cave provided. Walking along carefully, they slowly made their way deeper into the thick blackness before them. "EEEEEEEEEK!" Sam suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs, startling his older brother. "What?" Dean asked, trying to get his crappy flashlight to stay on. "Something grabbed my butt," the younger boy whined. Dean shined his now working flashlight on his brother and a grinning one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater standing behind him.

"Well…this is awkward," the older brother stated, pulling out his gun and preparing to kill the beast that tried to molest his innocent younger sibling. Before he could pull the trigger, a deafening scream rang out in the cave. "HIYAAA!" cried a new voice before the purple monster suddenly fell to the ground, a huge bump forming on the side of his head. "Nobody gets to grab Sammy's hot butt except me," the voice declared in a matter-of-fact tone. "Who said that?" Dean asked harshly, glaring at the random places he'd pointed his flashlight. Sam, who was just recovering from being groped, became traumatized again by the voice's bold statement. A soft giggle filled the air before the voice said "Clap on!"

The command was followed by the sound of hands clapping twice, then a blinding light. Once their eyes adjusted, the sexy brothers saw the thing the voice belonged to. It was the ghost of a teenage girl holding a large wooden mallet. She was around sixteen with dirty blonde hair and brown/green eyes. The girl was small for her age, not quite reaching five-foot. She was wearing a plain white, long-sleeved shirt that ended at her waist, revealing a transparent ghost-like tail. "Hiya," the girl said, throwing her mallet aside and waving rapidly. "Um….Hello?" Sam asked unsurely. "You're so cute!" the ghost exclaimed, squealing in a fangirl-ish way. Sam flinched a little at the sudden shout while Dean's eye twitched. "So…Who are you?" the older sex god asked, wanting to get away from the ghost girl.

"My name's Megan, but you can call me whatever you want," she said, voice dropping to a seductive tone. "Squishy!" Sam shouted happily, "I'll call you Squishy." The other two just stared at him blankly . "Ignoring that…how do you know who we are?" Dean asked. Megan smiled knowingly. "I know all about both of you," she said. "I know about your parents, what you do for a living, _everything_," the ghost put extra emphasis on the last word. "Oh my God!" Sam exclaimed loudly, "Do you know what color my boxers are too?" "Blue," she answered flatly. "Oh my God," the younger said again, quieter than last time. Turning to face his older sibling, he whispered in a barely audible voice, "she's right." Dean rolled his eyes at his younger brother. Of course the ghost girl knew what color his undies were, and that's what Sam gets for not wearing a belt. His pants were low enough to show off the top of his boxers, but Dean wasn't going to tell him that. He thought it was funny freaking his brother out, as long as no harm came to the younger man.

"So," the hot older brother began, once again ignoring his younger sibling, "How do you know so much about us?" Megan fidgeted for a moment before smiling sheepishly.

"Well…I followed you guys everywhere, hiding in bushes, behind trees, even in dumpsters when needed, which luckily was only once. I know about all of your adventures. There were even times when I had to restrain from yelling at any of the yucky demons that tried to hurt you. After your fights, I'd look around for anything that belonged to you, such as a torn shirt or used bullet shells. I'd also collect things like your chewed gum or bottles you drank from, but my favorite things ever were your used tissues. Everything is in a shrine in my old closet. I made it 'cause gods need a shrine. And-"

"Hold on a second," Dean cut her off, raising a finger to kill any further argument. Both of the sexy men had stared wide-eyed while the ghost girl talked, their minds barely registering anything after 'dumpsters'. "So, what you're saying is that you're a creepy, psycho, stalker-girl, right?" the older asked, eyes not leaving the ghost's face. Megan stared back at them for a while. "Stalker?" she asked, more confused than ever before. "No, I'm not a-"

"STALKER! You're a STALKER!" Sam yelled loudly, cutting her off again and pointing at her accusingly, all while hiding behind his older brother. "I'm NOT a stalker!" Megan yelled back, scaring both of the males in front of her. "I am a humble servant of the sex gods," she stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

"So you're a glorified stalker?" Dean asked with a blank expression. "NO! I'm not any type of stalker," the girl replied, fists clinched tightly at her sides. Sam, using his psychic powers to sense the ghost's anger, looked at his bare wrist. "Oh! Look at the time," he exclaimed, showing his older brother said appendage. "We have that thing we have to go to. Ya' know, the thing at the place with the people." As he was talking, he had starting pulling Dean in the direction of the exit. The younger 'sex god' paused for a moment and turned to the ghost girl. "Sorry," he said, a fake sympathetic smile on his face, "but we have to be off. Ta ta!"

The ghost just started floating after them. "I'm coming too," Megan decided, not caring what the brothers thought. "I have nothing better to do and this could be interesting." The two boys shared a look of disappointment, Sam's a little more obvious, before Dean decided to address the ghost. "Is there anything we can do to make you stop following us?" he asked. "Nope," Megan replied cheerfully. The other sex god turned around, muttering 'Damn' under his breath, and continued out of the cave. The other two followed him, Megan smiling brightly and Sam on the verge of tears.

It had almost been three months since the super sexy brothers had met up with the ghost of a strange teenage girl, three very long months for the brothers. Dean had a theory that the longer she spent with them, the less obsessed she'd be. He had explained it to Sam several times using charts and graphs to help him. After fifteen tries, the younger man got it.

Unfortunately, Dean's theory was wrong. Megan was just as obsessed as always, randomly screaming "CUTE!" or glomping one of them. The sex gods decided that they had had enough and decided to get professional help for their 'problem', as they had named her. One day they told her they were going on a road trip and she immediately dived in the car, bouncing up and down in her seat. The trio drove for days, Megan constantly talking. In the middle of one of her rants, Sam leaned over with a dark look on his face. "Hold on brother," he said in a deep voice. "It'll all be over soon."

Dean took his eyes off the road to look at his younger sibling for a moment. "No more horror movies for you," he commanded. They finally arrived at a creepy old house. Shingles were missing, the door was falling off its hinges, and it needed new paint. The three made their way to the house, opened the creaky door, and went inside. Sam would scream and latch onto one of Dean's arms every time he heard a noise, and after the first time, Megan decided to join in.

The small group finally approached a dark red door. Dean stepped forward, pushing the door open and glancing inside. He went into the dimly lit room, motioning for the others to follow him. Once they were in, the door slammed shut, causing the three to jump. A faint rustling come from deeper in the room, and when the three turned around, they came face to face with a man. He was chubby and balding, a five o' clack shadow growing on his chin and food stains littering his muscle shirt. "Jim?" Sam asked meekly. "Yeah," the man answered in a gruff voice. "What do you want?"

Dean stepped forward, sparing his brother from talking to the man. "We talked to you on the phone. You agreed to help us with our problem, "he said, glancing at the ghost hovering next to him.

"Oh! Alright, hold on a sec," he told the trio, turning around and rummaging through the junk behind him. After a few minutes, he returned to standing in front of the group, holding a strange rubber ducky. "Duck," Megan growled, venom dripping from her normally happy voice. She glared at it while Jim explained its powers to the brothers. "And all I have to do is say the magic word," he continued. The smexy siblings both gave him a disbelieving look. "It's true!" he explained. "I'll show ya'." He pointed the duck at Megan, and, in a serious tone, said, "Rutabaga."

A swirling vortex of color appeared in the floor, sucking the ghost girl in. "No!" she screamed, "I can't be defeated by a duck!" Megan struggled unsuccessfully for a moment, before reaching out to the brothers. "Goodbye," she said weakly. "Bye!" both men said in unison, Sam waving rapidly as the ghost was sucked in all the way. The portal disappeared as soon as the girl was gone.

"Thanks Uncle Jim," Dean said, following his brother, who was already half way out the door. "Bye boys. Come back anytime," Jim called hiding his ducky in all the rubbish. Outside, Sam turned to his brother. "I can't believe we're related to crazy Jim, the exorcist," he commented in disbelief. Dean glanced at his younger sibling before telling him, "Believe it. He's dad's little brother. Haven't you seen the photos of him and dad?" Dean asked, now fully looking at Sam. The brothers continued to talk as they got into their car and drove into the sunset. They lived happily ever after until they met another demon.

THE END


End file.
